Hoodrat Stuff w/ my Friends

Were you ever just a shitty teenager? Not in the sense that you were out there committing crimes, but you were out there trying to do hoodrat shit with your friends at 13-14 years old.

For me, it was the summer after 8th grade. The Dark Knight was in theaters and a few of my friends, T-Lowe, Johnny, and Emily Hickey wanted to go see it. BUT, another movie had just come out starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.

That movie was Step Brothers.

One of the all time most quotable movies in existence, and to this day, I can sit down and laugh just has hard as when I first saw it on the big screen.

It was a warm summers evening, I was at home when I got a call on the house phone from my buddy John, asking me if I wanted to go see Step Brothers. “Hell yeah,” I thought to myself.

“It’s rated-R though. So we need to somehow sneak into the movie..”

Ight, bet.

So I asked my dad If I could go see the Dark Knight with my friends, knowing that had I asked my mom, she would have emphatically said no. So he being the good and gracious father that he was, he asked me who was going, what time the movie was, and where. He also asked me if I had seen it before, which I had, but I just thought it was soooo good first two times that I had seen it that I wanted to see it again.

My dad dropped me off at the movie theater two minutes from our house, and waiting in the lobby were my friends. While standing in line to buy tickets, we had to come up with our plan.

It was simple, we buy the tickets to The Dark Knight, wait about a half hour until Step Brothers started, then in pairs we sneak into that movie. Absolutely fool proof.

About a half into the movie my friend Taylor turns to me and John, and says, “Me and Emily are going to go, you guys wait here for about 5 minutes or so before you come in after us..”

So we waited for what seemed like an eternity. I had John check his cellphone which had a time of 7:23 pm. I looked at John and asked, “you ready?”

He nodded, and we got up. As we talked out of our theater, we headed down the long corridor to the main lobby where, in the opposite wing, was the Holy Grail that was Step Brothers. So it wasn’t like we could just hop in the next theater over.

We nervously walked across the lobby trying so hard to be inconspicuous. We got to the ticket taker, and just as he was asking for our tickets, I blurted out, “Yeah, our dad had already gone in with them.”

He looked at us, looked down, shook his head, and said “go head…”

He knew…. He KNEW….

There was no way he didn’t know. Two random early-teenagers who look nothing alike, don’t just walk up asking to get into a rated-R movie. Maybe they do, I don’t know. But my point is, I felt bad afterwards. Partially because we blatantly lied to the man TWICE, but also because he was a disabled man that was just trying to earn his keep…




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