Fantasy Football Roundup: NOT IN LAST

I don’t often look for silver linings. Mostly because in my line of work silver linings are meaningless and evil. They create a false hope that things couldn’t possibly get worse. To be truthful, they can. I SEENT IT.

But, it when comes to fantasy I will take any moral victory I can get because my team is hot garbage. Between picking up players via waivers that just aren’t any good (i.e. A.J. Brown), to the absolute mismanagement of my players (i.e. starting Russell Wilson and also starting the Niner’s defense who played each other last night).

This poo poo flavored lollipop of a season is a direct result of me being way in over my head. As coach/owner, I would like to apologize to my fan base, my players, and my family. This is embarrassing. Though the silver lining here, is that I’m not technically in last place due to total points scored.

I get my comeuppance, Free Schmurda 141.54; Our Lady of Sorrow 125.38.

HotChubb needs a Time Machine

The TimeMachines of HotChubb got off to a pretty hot start going 3-1 in his first four games. But they flew too close to the sun, and have since been on a six game slide. Their season has derailed faster than my last relationship, with not much hope of getting back on track.

“We’ve just be plagued by a vast amount of injuries,” Said coach/owner Brandon E. Rickson.”Not only my players, but my ability to coach as well. We move forward by attempting to field a competent team. Only hope is that we don’t end up in last place.”

The TimeMachines hold that ‘L’ for another week losing a close one to My balls Ertz 128.48-131.88.

Standings after week 10

  1. Adrian Animals 8-2 (God himself must be running this team)
  2. Dairy Sanders 7-3 (Is in 3 different leagues. SAD!)
  3. Mixon Kush & OJ 6-4 (Silent but deadly)
  4. Adolf Oliver Bush 6-4 (Complains about Yahoo)
  5. Free Schmurda 6-4 (spineless commish)
  6. Doc Sportello 5-5 (will trade best players for 4Loko)
  7. Our Lady Of Misery 3-7 (The Detroit Lions of this league)
  8. HotChubb TimeMachine 3-7 (The Cleveland Browns of this league)
  9. My Balls Ertz 3-7 (The Andy Dalton of this league)
  10. Danny Goodhead 3-7 (Still starting AB)

Remember kids, if you like this please be sure to come back every Tuesday to get an update on our poor life decisions.

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